Previous life, you say?

Yeah, Counter-Terrorism Nug. Been there, done that. Got hurt.

Like hurty-hurt-hurt. Had the surgeries, learned how to walk again, got the swagger back, lost everything. Twice.

Having said that, what you get is a Pathfinder, a Guide. I can transform into a sherpa, carrying your heaviest baggage while not letting you get in your own way or stack excuses. Yeah, life coach, performance coach, executive coach BLEGH. Imma stick with Sherpa. Life Sherpa! Sherpy Sherperton. Sherp-cedes Benz. The Great Sherpantor Extraordinaire.

I carry.

You walk. I walk.

I hand over stuff for you to chuck as needed.

You hand over stuff you don’t understand.

I synthesize it into language.

You process it, and your trauma peeks out, asking for more.

Whatcha got? Health Issues? “Um, Hello? HEALTH & wellness Coach, right here. I read labs, I hear what your doctor told ya, how scared you are, what you're not gonna do or do, and all that jazz. We make a plan, you lead. I follow. I help you stick to your plan. You set the pace. We get you where you need to be. No white-knuckling allowed.

Family Issues? Only child, divorced parents, narcissistic-nutso mum, alcoholic dad, genocide, trauma, trauma. Bring it.

Don’t know what you want to be when you grow up? Get in! I’ve been helping people write their resumes, nail the interview, and write cover letters with the precision of a surgeon’s scalpel since 2004. I can help you do the same, except for you. Get it? GET IT?! My goal is to turn into our local denizen, Batman Grams, pictured in her full hero moment.

Who is this God-person anyway? Yeah, soul business. It’s important. Like, really. Let’s explore ways you can fall in love with the supernatural. It’s cosmically delightful and tangibly the most difficult cross you will ever bear. The Minimal.Monster is not where you come to find religion. This is where you come to see how to live your life for God. Where you find something bigger than you. Something that can contain your infinite soul and someone who will never let you down. You will find meditation, prayer, silence, spirit, and Whole-Person Care. This is what most Western healthcare misses. The Great Physician abides. Although what I do is not for everyone, it may be exactly what you need. I get it. If it’s not for you, don’t pick it up.

Stress-induced, Chaos-laden, Busy Lifestyle-hustling, Buying/Selling, Money-making, Money-Spending, Money-hoarding, Sleep/Love/Nourishment-Deprived, Junk Food-Eater, Drug-Taking, Alcohol-Drinking, Rage-Baiting Human of it all. If this is you all at once, please don’t call me. Go to a therapist. Now.

I can teach you to meditate and practice postures tailored to your body and mind, not the Instagramalicious mountain-top yoginis focused on bikinis. No! A normal human body, in normal human clothes, suffering normal pains in a very abnormal world. I can teach you Ayurveda (self-care) and diaphragmatic Breath-Work (Pranayama), but I can’t teach you to show up to this session. If you are fat, show up fat. If you are sick, show up sick. If you are sad, show up sad. This is where you show up to be heard, seen, and loved on, with a serious dose of questions that lead to what you came here to find. Come as you are. You are exactly where you are meant to be..

Military? Law Enforcement? Right here, baby. Sit yo’ self down and let lil’ miss former NYPD and counter-terrorism tell you something about finding a second, third, and fourth career despite being a toxic-environment escapee. Oh, I know all about the damn logbooks, and yes, I have had the lightbulb in my desk lamp stolen the very day after I showed up to work, where my predecessor had taken his own life with his service revolver. Ah, to be a toxic-environment escapee. Like I said, sit the eff down.